Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Robert Mugabe – “As the Head of State and Commander in Chief – I command this chicken not to cross the road until all sanctions are removed”.

Morgan Tsvangirai – “We give this chicken an ultimatum to cross back to the other side by tomorrow or we quit the government of national unity (GNU)”.

Giles Mutsekwa – “How can a specified chicken cross the road? It was externalising all its large eggs and its chicks hatching across the road, so we even specified its chicken coop.”

Nelson Chamisa – “That was not a chicken, what you saw was the image of our Road Runner broadband internet; it appears so fast like a chicken crossing a busy highway”.

Augustine Chihuri – “These British imperialist agents are sending spies disguised as chickens again and crossing our toll roads to cause vehicle accidents”.

General Chiwenga – “It was not just any chicken, it’s what in the army we call an IRM – and Improvised Roadside Meal” and the gizzards (zvikanganwahama) are mine.

Joseph Chinotimba – “Sister, I wandi to know, was it a boy chicken or was it a female chicken? If I had my stolen Nokia serufoni I could have telephoned the chicken myself”.

Grace Mugabe – “This chicken was spying on my cows being milked for Nestle and now the whole world knows that I stole cows and 10 farms”.

Patrick Chinamasa – “The road is illegal and our constitution is clear: a chicken cannot live on both sides of the road, so this chicken crossed a road we do not recognise”.

Happytone Bonyongwe – “It was a goat; the CIO will interrogate everyone who claims to have seen this chicken, torture them until they confess that they actually saw a goat”.

Arthur Mutambara – “There were three chickens on the other side of the road, and as one of the principals I shall look into why this chicken crossed the road by itself”.

Peter Chikumba – “This chicken was part of the meal on the flight from the UN; instead we had to serve Bedouin goat meat (oxtailyembudzi) from Gaddafi to our passengers”.

Gideon Gono – “I am the biggest chicken farmer and that must be my chicken. Once we bring back the ZimDollar, this chicken will cross back to my side again”.

Webster Shamu – “This chicken was listening to “illegal, extraterritorial pirate broadcasts” from the other side; all chickens must only listen to the ZBC.

Phil Matibe – www.madhingabucketboy.com